I skipped work to stalk him.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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