i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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