Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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