A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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