so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
