You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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