dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
