so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
