I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
