she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
