Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
