Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
