This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
