I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
