Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have aggressive nipples.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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