Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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