I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
