I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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