I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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