She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
