I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I party with great urgency now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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