Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
