North Korea, Best Korea!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
