I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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