Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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