As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Holy sore nipples Batman
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
