No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything