if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
