You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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