READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
