My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
