I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
