Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
