Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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