I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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