how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
