there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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