I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
