ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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