i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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