i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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