He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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