I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
