oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Damn victory sex feels great
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize