I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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