a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
