My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
