Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
