I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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