i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
