did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm at about main and main street
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
