apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize