You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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