u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
