I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
