Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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