Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
sex in a hospital.. check
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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