you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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