Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
