dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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