So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How does one acquire holy water?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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