Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
