"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize