New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
