How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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