My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize