I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
