3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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