never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
