Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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