Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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